Become the Person You Need to Be

A Journey Through Change, Identity, and the Power of Self Discovery

Figuring out life and who you are is a life long journey and not a mountain to climb where when you reach the top you have everything worked out and live in bliss for the rest of your days. Working out what serves you and what to leave alone is an integral part of the human experience which we aren’t given a map to navigate.

Being able to identify habits or things that hold you back that stop you reaching your potential is highly valuable. Removing negative habits is another challenge. In my experience alcohol hugely inhibited me reaching my potential in anything I tried, it held me back at work, relationships and stopped me living a life with any real purpose. This ultimately led to me being unfulfilled throughout my 20’s and wasting this period of my life on surface level fulfilment without any real deep personal connections.

It’s okay to feel lost and take time to figure out whats holding you back. Far better though if you don’t waste a decade of your life on the wrong path like I did before you find what you want and need.

In my own experience it was finding running that set me on the path to letting go of the things that held me back. My motivation to lean further into running to improve and create a new identity for myself meant the need to shed my old identity. The mistake I made in this period of time was trying to have both of these lives, not ready to completely shed my past. I’d go through months and months of disciplined training to prepare for a race, while doing this letting go of drinking alcohol and the identity attached to this. Only to finish a race and celebrate with alcohol which led me to fall back into these habits. It took me a long time to figure out that I couldn’t have both. I couldn’t call myself a runner and strive to improve my personal achievements only to then binge drink my way into a stupor as a way to celebrate my successes (and failures).

The other example of this is the people who I associated with at the time. When running, I would associate with likeminded people who challenged each other to be better. When I wasn’t running I would go back to old friends that were fun to be around but didn’t influence me to my best self. These people certainly didn’t encourage my fitness journey. Ultimately I was following people just as lost as me which kept me in a place that felt easier than facing the truth that I was yet to understand.

The turning point for me came slowly, my transition away from alcohol was a somewhat gradual fade rather than an abrupt decision for the better. I started to drink less as the hangovers became a burden to my training and in the end the decision to stop drinking was easy. However, it was only when I completely stepped away from alcohol that I saw the truth clearly. I embraced a life of sobriety and this new identity resonated well with the person I wanted to become and my achievements followed.

At this time I started to become the person I wanted to be. I realised what a clear mind and motivation can do in the shape of a personal transformation. I quickly became motivated and committed to improve, and make up for lost/wasted time. At the time I didn’t know it, but each run, each early morning and each moment of discomfort was part of a process of change that helped me become far more focused and disciplined in all aspects of life.

My past challenges, failures and the discoveries I have made in these years now shape how I view life and lead and mentor myself and at my work in a people management role. These failures shape how I tackle challenges and show up in everything I do with passion and purpose. It has helped me with work, family, sport and the study I’ve undertaken. I use these lessons to be empathetic, compassionate and non-judgemental. Everyone has a challenge holding them back, they don’t need judgement. I used to concentrate on helping myself, now I enjoy being a positive influence on people in my circle.

The challenges we face that hold us back can be met and overcome by through the BRAVE Performance Method.

First we must recognise what is holding us back, however big or small this may be. For me it was alcohol, at the time I stopped drinking most people wouldn’t have known I had a problem with alcohol holding me back, in hindsight I knew and hid this from myself and others for many years. Once I was brave enough to make a change it became crystal clear.

Belief: Once you identify your path and take action on making change you will start to develop evidence of success. This compounds into belief. Keep Going

Resilience: When you make a change whether big or small there will be moments where you need to work hard and fight to keep going. Be consistent, keep going. Consistency becomes resilience.

Adaptability: With every worthwhile pursuit there will be hurdles, roadblocks and detours. Take these in your stride and be ready to correct course when required. Rigidity falters under pressure. Adaptability builds resilience.

Vision: When you make the change who will you become and why. This is your vision and rather than running towards a horizon that never comes find an attainable vision for who you want to be. Be ambitious, we all have more in us than we think possible.

Energy: When we make a change we need oxygen to keep the fire burning. What’s motivating this change. Find this energy and keep going back to the source. This will feed discipline and consistent action.

Change isn’t meant to happen all at once, but when you let it unfold through your choices and realisations, you can show up for yourself one moment at a time. Letting go of what holds you back means clearing the space for something greater to grow. Remove the obstacles that are in your way through decisions aligned to your vision.

You can use the BRAVE Performance Method as a framework to let go of what’s holding you back and help build a life grounded in clarity, purpose, and belief. We all carry a story and somewhere in that story there is the moment we can choose to let go and embrace something better. Be willing to make that choice. Be willing to believe in a new version of yourself.

Be BRAVE because everything you want is ready and waiting for you.

Comment below or send me a message if I can help you in anyway. Start a conversation to help you find your path.